


Not To Be

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-01
Updated: 2003-05-01
Packaged: 2017-11-01 07:12:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/353583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My entry for the Smallville's Highlander Title Challenge, inspired by the "Five Things Challenge.  Five separate vignettes of things that are not to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not To Be

**Author's Note:**

> Each of the vignettes has a different HL title, because I 

## Not To Be

by Joyfulgirl41

<http://www.livejournal.com/~joyfulgirl41/>

* * *

Disclaimer: Smallville, Clark, Lex and everybody and everything else? Not mine. I'm simply borrowing them for a little while. I'll return them good as new, I promise. 

was feeling inspired and it's my challenge, so I can do that. ::g:: 

Thanks to Caro for the initial screening and betaing. Thanks to Rhiannonhero and Stone Princess for the betaing and final approval. I nub you all to bits and pieces. 

* * *

  1. Eye of the Beholder 



The blue eyes were all he ever remembered about the dream, or rather, they're what stood out in his mind the most. There were flashes of other things, a sports car, a bale of wire, pale lips with a scar. 

Kent had been having the dream every night for almost a month. He'd asked his friend Charity what she thought they meant since she was into that dream interpretation stuff, but the theories she'd come up with were all pretty ridiculous. 

Which left Kent where he was before, with the vivid image of blue eyes staring up at him, a memory of something that hadn't happened that he couldn't quite shake. Except that last night he hadn't had the dream, which was even more disconcerting. 

Lana sneered at him as he came downstairs for breakfast. Kent honestly didn't understand why his sister hated him so much. Everyone else loved her, thought she was a sweetheart. But the moments were few and far between that she and Kent got along at all. Kent thought it went way beyond normal sibling rivalry. 

"Hi, honey," his mom said, brushing a kiss over his forehead as he sat down. "I need you to take care of the baby this afternoon. Alan and I are going to visit your aunt and uncle." 

Kent wrinkled his nose. "Why can't Lana do it?" 

"I have a date," Lana said snottily. "Do you even know what those are, Kent?" Ever since their mom had remarried, Lana had been pretty scarce around the house. She didn't like Alan and she took every opportunity to remind everybody that her _real_ dad had been killed in Smallville. 

She also took every opportunity to point out that Kent wasn't really her brother. "We found you abandoned in a field and Mom took pity on you," she had said many times. "Your own family didn't even want you." For a long time Kent had thought she was just being mean. He hadn't known it was true until his powers started to develop. 

She would make fun of his name in private, knowing that he hated the fact that he was named after a couple who had died in the meteor shower, the husband an ex-boyfriend of Nell's. Kent regretted the day he'd told her that he found his name horribly morbid. 

At any rate, Lana made it clear that she hated her brother and their new stepfather as well. Her feelings of animosity also seemed to extend to her new baby brother. After little Caleb was born, she'd become more involved in school activities and was home even less. 

"Why are you going to visit them anyway? Have you been summoned?" he asked sarcastically. Kent didn't really care for his aunt and uncle. They were filthy rich and Aunt Nell rubbed it in at every opportunity. As if she were somehow better than her sister since she had snagged a rich husband and hadn't had any children to spoil her figure. 

"Her stepson was killed yesterday." Lana rolled her eyes. "Don't you _ever_ watch the news?" 

"He drove his car off a bridge," Kent's mom said. "It's too bad. He was only twenty-one." 

Kent shared a look with his sister, one of those rare moments of agreement between them. 

They'd met Lex Luthor once while they had been staying with their Aunt Nell. Nell hadn't really been too interested in taking care of them, so they had been left to explore on their own. 

They'd walked in on Lex skinny-dipping with a naked girl. A really naked girl. All live, up-close and naked. It was one of those memories that had become more meaningful to Kent when he'd hit puberty. 

Lex, spotting them, had smirked. "Care to join us?" The girl had been sucking on his ear and doing something with her hands below the water. Lana had scowled at Lex and tugged Kent out of the room. 

Something his mom said snagged in the back of Kent's mind. "He drove off a bridge?" he asked with a vague feeling that there was something important about that. 

"Yeah. The impact must have knocked him out. His car broke through the guardrail. It went into the river and he drowned." The tone of her voice was sober. 

Kent ducked his head, silently agreeing with the look that Lana had given him. He made a sympathetic noise, but he really didn't think Lex's death was a huge loss. The guy had been a total asshole. 

* * *

2\. Saving Grace 

They came once a year in the fall and for a long time Lex hadn't known why. Smallville was a dusty little town. It was almost a ghost town really, a few farms on the outskirts, a tiny high school and one main drag. There had been a creamed corn factory there for awhile but after a particularly bad year it had closed, forcing most people to leave town. 

Lex had been fifteen that year. But they still went back at exactly the same time. They had purchased a little farmhouse to stay at for that one night a year because there wasn't even a hotel. 

For years Lex didn't question the ritual. He'd gone along with it, telling himself that he didn't want know why they went, pretended that he didn't realize that there was something dark and twisted about it. Because knowing would mean acknowledging things about his family that were better left unexamined. 

He was twenty-one when he finally found his nerve. "Why," he asked softly as the stood looking at an empty field, wind blowing through his short red hair. "Why here? Why today?" 

"It's the anniversary of our independence," his mother had answered softly. "We come because I don't want to forget what things could have been like." The look in her eyes when she turned towards him was a little frightening. "I don't want you to ever forget what kind of man you might have been if your father hadn't died." 

Later that night, he crept out of his room and walked back to the field, patting his pocket to make sure he had his inhaler with him. He hadn't been able to sleep. The fanatic gleam of his mother's eyes haunted him. Had his father really been that bad? Lex was starting to wonder. 

There'd been many times over the years where he had wished his father were still alive. Lex didn't really remember too much about him. Lionel Luthor had been an important and therefore busy man when he'd been alive. The things Lex did remember were details, the smell of his cologne, the scratch of his beard when he kissed him goodnight. He remembered how proud he felt when his father had praised him. 

Lost in his thoughts, Lex almost missed the quiet plea. 

"Help me," a ragged voice sounded again. 

Lex pushed through the corn until he was standing at the base of a large wooden cross. He looked up to see bare limbs and chest and a bowed head. "Oh my God," he said, pausing to take a hit off his inhaler before he set about untying the boy. As soon as he was free, the boy fell to the ground, resting on his hands and knees for several long seconds. 

Before Lex could think of anything to say, the boy jumped up, as if he hadn't just looked like he was about to die. "Thanks," he said before grabbing the pile of clothes next to the cross and running off. 

"Hey, wait," Lex called out. "Are you alright?" 

But he got no answer. He hadn't even seen the kid's face, just a head of black hair and a pair of pale blue boxers. A necklace with an odd-looking green stone glinted on the ground. Lex almost picked it up. It probably either belonged to the kid he'd freed or the people who had tied him up in the first place. Someone would come back to find it in the morning. 

He shivered as a cool night breeze wrapped around him. Hugging his arms to his body, Lex surveyed the field, suddenly a little scared to be there alone. There was something creepy about Smallville. With one more look around, Lex turned and started his walk back to the farmhouse, once again lost in his thoughts, longing for his father. 

* * *

3\. Studies in Light 

"I don't want you to have anything to do with the Luthors, Clark. How many times do I have to tell you that?" his dad's question echoed in his head as he sat in his loft waiting. 

Clark had looked at his mom, but she'd just shrugged. She wasn't as against the Luthors as his dad was, but she wasn't exactly thrilled about him being friends with a Luthor either. 

His parents weren't the only ones who warned him against Lex Luthor. His friends spat whenever they heard the Luthor name too. 

"Think about it, Clark," Chloe said. "What would someone with Lex's age (Chloe-speak for 'experience') and social status want with a sixteen-year-old farmboy?" 

And Clark both resented the insinuation and reveled in it, because when he closed his eyes, he could picture Lex's dark blue eyes and incredible mouth. He imagined those lips, scar stretched, wrapped around his cock instead of forming the all-too-familiar smirk. He knew what the coy looks meant, the teasing glances and the speeches about destiny. 

Clark resented that everyone thought he was too young or too dumb to figure it out. He wasn't too young to know what he wanted, nor was he too dumb to figure out how to get it. 

"Clark?" Lex's voice was probably the sexiest thing Clark had ever heard. 

"Up here," he answered. 

He felt the familiar flip of his stomach as Lex appeared at the top of the stairs. 

She wore a short black skirt with knee-high leather boots and a dark maroon sweater, all soft and girly, hugging her curves in all the right places. "I thought I'd find you here." 

Clark was mesmerized by the sway of her hips as she walked toward him, the way her eyes twinkled when she smiled, like she knew a secret she was just dying to share. The sun glinted off her long red hair and Clark was pretty sure she was the most gorgeous creature ever to walk the planet. 

He was old enough to know what he wanted and Clark wanted Alexia Luthor so badly it hurt. 

"You said you had something to tell me?" she asked. 

* * *

4\. They Also Serve 

Lex had a sacred duty to his best friend. 

He'd discovered Clark's secret by accident when he found the spaceship in the cornfield after the tornado three years ago. The Kents sat him down and told him everything after Clark had panicked and let the secret slip. They explained how they found Clark in the field the day of the meteor showers. 

There was no other choice but to trust him and Lex hadn't let them down yet. Mr. Kent had placed a hand on Lex's shoulder and said; "You're part of the family now, Son." Lex wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that. Everything he did was for Clark. 

Lana was easy to break. Having been raised by Nell, Lana was fairly susceptible to bribery. Lex liked her well enough, so he was glad he didn't have to do anything terrible to get her to dump Clark. He didn't have to threaten the Talon or even really explain why he wanted her to do it. 

The next day Clark came to him, broken-hearted and Lex made soothing noises and said things like, "It's all for the best." He doubted Jonathan Kent could've done any better. 

Chloe, as it turned out, was harder to break. She'd been in love with Clark for so long and wasn't as easily manipulated by halftruths and bribes. Lex had to play a little dirty to get Chloe see things his way. 

It actually wasn't too hard. With a little planning he arranged it so that Chloe walked in on a conversation between Clark and Lana that appeared to be anything but innocent. It was easy to make sure he was the one who was there for Chloe in her time of need. 

"Don't cry," he whispered, stroking her bare shoulder. He tried to pull her back against him, but she stiffened and pulled away, tugging the sheet up under her chin. 

"We shouldn't have done this." Her face crumpled as her body shook with sobs of guilt. She was probably at the point of realizing that what she'd seen between Clark and Lana had been innocent. 

Lex thought it was a shame that Chloe's insecurities made her always willing to believe the worst about her boyfriend. "It's a little late for regrets now," he told her. 

"What are we going to do?" she asked in a tiny voice. 

"Do?" Lex rolled onto his back and pretended to consider the question. "I suppose you don't want to go again?" He took the look of horror on her face as a no. "I'm not sure exactly what you're asking, then, Chloe." 

"Clark will never forgive me." 

Lex turned so that he was facing her again. He brushed a lock of hair away from her face gently, wiping a tear away from her cheek with his thumb. "You're probably right. It would crush him, so I would suggest not telling him about it." 

"But how can I not tell him?" Chloe probably didn't realize that it was considered poor etiquette to discuss one's boyfriend with the man she'd just slept with. "I can't not tell him. I feel so guilty." 

"You probably should feel guilty. Clark deserves a lot better than this. I would think after all he's done for you that he would have earned your loyalty at the very least." 

She jerked away from his touch, realization and a new kind of horror marring her features. She shook her head. "What do you want?" 

It was pointless to pretend that he didn't know what she was talking about. "I think that it'd be best if you and Clark broke up." 

"Why?" He almost felt guilty at the horribly miserable look on her face now that she'd finally broken. But she would heal. She was an extraordinary girl and there were bound to be other guys out there who would recognize that. 

"We all have our destinies, Chloe," he explained gently. "You're just not part of Clark's. I'm sorry." He stroked her hair until she stopped crying. 

"I trust you won't tell anybody about this," he said from the bed as Chloe got dressed. "I have connections that can make or break a cub reporter. I make a good friend, Chloe. I'd be willing to help you out." He didn't think he needed to mention that he was also her father's boss. 

She just nodded, not quite looking at him. Lex would make sure that Chloe was taken care of in the future. Gabe was a good employee and Chloe was a good kid. She would be okay. Lex didn't feel guilty, though. He had a sacred duty to Clark. 

He'd been in their position once, Chloe and Lana's. Back before he knew about Clark's origins, he'd been a little bit in love with him. They'd kissed. Or, rather, Lex had kissed Clark. Clark had blushed and stuttered that he liked girls. 

Lex had been a little stung by the rejection, but shrugged it off. Sex wasn't important in the grand scheme of things, was too simple an expression of what was between them. In hindsight Lex had realized that sex would have cheapened what they had. Their destiny was something that transcended love and sex, something that was so much _more_. 

Time and patience had shown Lex what that destiny was. Because after finding out about Clark's gifts, Lex knew how things would have to be. Clark was a hero. Lex had read enough comic books as a kid to know how things had to work out. 

There were two requirements, rules that every hero had to live by. The first was that he had to be alone. No hero could properly function if he had a wife or lover to worry about. 

Heroes had to sacrifice their own personal happiness for the greater good. It would be worse for Clark later on if he could look back and remember being happily in love, something that he could no longer have. It was better that he just never know what it was like in the first place. 

The second rule was that every hero needed a nemesis. Clark needed a foil. 

Clark had the potential to be the greatest hero the world had ever known and Lex had a sacred duty to make sure that Clark fulfilled that potential. 

* * *

5\. Prodigal Son 

Clark watched as the silver Porsche pulled into the dusty driveway, his eyes focused on the man in the driver's seat. 

"Fucking Luthors," Pete mumbled under his breath as he dribbled the basketball. 

Clark knew he would hear a similar sentiment from his father later. He knew how the argument would go, too. 

"I don't like you hanging around him, Clark. Lionel Luthor raised him and I don't want you associating with people like that. I don't trust his intentions. Why would he want to be friends with you?" Variations on a theme that Clark was sick of hearing about. 

Clark would then say something like; "I saved his life, Dad. You wouldn't let me keep the truck, so I'm sure he's just trying to find a way to repay me." His father would then snort and usually change the subject. 

It wasn't like Clark _encouraged_ the guy to come around. Quite frankly, both Luthors creeped him out a little. He didn't like the way either one of them looked at him. Like he was some sort of puzzle they couldn't wait to figure out. Clark had spent too much of his life hiding to be comfortable with that sort of scrutiny. 

"Clark, I'd like you to meet my brother." A statement said with that wolfish grin that made Clark's skin crawl. 

Clark turned his attention to the man climbing out of the passenger's side of the car, watched as he walked toward them with an easy grace that Clark was pretty sure guys shouldn't have. 

The man looked to be a few years older than Clark was. He was tall and lean, had a runner's body, pale smooth skin, hair so dark it was probably dyed, startlingly blue eyes and an easy smile. Clark was supposed to believe that this _very_ attractive man was related to Lucas? He of the uni-brow? 

"I didn't know you had a brother," Clark said, not taking his eyes off the stranger in front of him. 

"Neither did I. Apparently dad's been hiding him away." Lucas came to stand between them. "Clark Kent, this is my brother Alex." 

"Half-brother, actually. Different mothers." Alex said in a smooth, silky voice, looking up at Clark through ginger-colored eyelashes. "It's nice to meet you, Clark." 

Clark felt his heart skip a beat as he reached out. Holding on for a little longer than the handshake warranted he was unable to keep his thumb from lightly caressing the back of Alex's hand. "It's nice to meet you too," he said finally, a little crow of triumph sounding in his head as Alex's cheeks flushed lightly. "How long will you be in town?" 


End file.
